A year in review
I put 3 songs I like in this post this time. :)
Hm, 2025 was kind of weird. I finally picked up myself, get out from self isolation, and started doing things again (literally things), but in other side I feel like the things I do were not enough. I'm trying to tell myself that 2025 was only a start for more good things to come, and if I were to start a little low then there are things that can always be improved and get better.
I think I owed it a lot to the kind people who patiently waited for me. I've isolated myself for roughly a year. Such depression in practice is apparently hard to empathize or justify, so it's only sensible that I lose even more from that.
It's much better from 2024 where I actually thought of wrapping up my life for good. The thoughts still linger, but I wanted to finish the things I'd like to do before I get back to that, see if anything changes.
What I'm used to do, I can do it again
I helped with some people's games for game jams. As someone who didn't want to do 'graphic designing for others' for almost a decade it was an odd turning point, although the struggle remains the same, whether it's many years ago or now. What's new this time is that the things that weren't initially a problem can turn as its own challenge when you're in a different pipeline, turned out. (Actually, I shouldn't be surprised)
The difference between this and that was that now I needed some degree of technical knowledge on top of understanding what my collaborators can actually do, so I feel like that's... something that constantly needs to be studied. When you work together with someone else, there's the importance of constantly asking Can I understand the vision?" → "Can my idea elevate their vision?" → "Can this idea even be implemented at all in a way that doesn't fail the original vision?"
In a different field I tend to end up being the anchors of a relay run, but this often turned out to not be the case here, so it's also important to understand what the next person in the process can do, and what they can't do.
And sometimes it's not easy. Unless you're a professional who gets to work with other professionals, it's never going to be easy (and I also don't think it's easy for them pros either).
I think design is not art. Or at least, not the kind of art that you can just, do whatever your heart says with no care in the world. Design isn't always all about being artistically good, but it's always about understanding people, both people you're working together with and the audience of your design. The only subjectively good design is a design that does not alienate people involved in it. (The target audience, too, are included in these people)
But there might be art in that too.
There are things that finally come to an end
The saga of this particular entry too, is wrapped up somewhat nicely before the year changes, although not perfect. On top of two things that inevitably weren't able to get included, a number of obvious technical issues came out and it's a bit too late to fix it, so I can't tell whether it's going to end well for this thing or not.
It all boils down to previous segment again (笑)
So what happened was that I did calculate the fact that 1) it was made to be read digital medium and 2) how most readers these days would be on mobile devices, so I completely made sure things weren't too small for people to see on certain distance, except for the parts that were intended to feel that way. That went well. And that's the only thing I figured out correctly.
At the same time, I emulated a technique only applicable better on printed medium, so when I finally tested it on the actual platform, the thing barely reads well because of the moiré. The information I wanted to relay wasn't transferred correctly.
People have been saying that 'it's alright' and 'it's just a minor inconvenience', but it's still extremely frustrating. The issue could be completely removed by not doing the said thing altogether and conforming with the medium I'm using.
Thankfully the stakes were minor on this so it's alright to make mistakes, but ??? man I do NOT feel well about this
By the way, this should've been placed a little on the top, but I shelved all the games that I both wrote and draw (meaning my collabs are still out there).
I've thought about it for too long. A little part of it were because of "Oh, they're just little games/demos that I didn't bother to think about again because of the shame" but also, I can no longer handle the feelings I'm having whenever I look at them. They weren't made during the times I would like to cherish, but instead of looking proudly at it for getting through those times, they instead filled me with terrible feelings.
It didn't help that those wounds were reopened again this year. ← (a little personal so I will not elaborate) (let's just say my 2025 from personal side has ups and downs but the downs were relatively super down)
It's incredibly selfish of me to do that, so I'm thinking of bringing some of these back in a completely remastered form. Decay in Crevice was one of the things I'd like to prioritize because the idea was just so good (and for something that was made in 3 days the execution wasn't that disappointing if I think about it), but only time will tell. Until then I'm not picking up any of these.
2026
I don't know what else to add. I've been watching VCT for 2 years now so I might end up spending another year getting into it, hopefully in a way that won't distract me from the things I need to do...
(LTK and Devil Clutch杯 were finally over and those made me feel Things)
The 2026 plans have been roughly set. Some things are finally out from my to-do list, so I'd like to mostly focus working on my own projects (DESOPE and mordim). There will be new toys ready in 2026 for me to use as well (or so I heard! hopefully that is true!), so I'm incredibly excited and has been chipping progress and studies every day.
I'll also get to work closely with some friends on some different things, so things are looking pretty nice and it will stay that way if I can manage my steam together—and not overheat by accident.
Happy new year!