18k
Apparently my currency finally hits the highest it could ever be although it's been hitting new record since last month.
A lot of this country's cheaper foods (the only food that I can afford) eaten by lower class people (me) heavily rely on imported ingredients, plus some other essential stuff like raw oil. It's within foreseeable future that I'll switch from eating instant ramen 7 times a day to sticking with just rice (happened once in March, not enjoyable, very depression-inducing)/ If you tell me there are hope in the future and I need to keep living no there are NOT I don't know what are you trying to get me to see if I cannot even get past this very present time.
Like what the fuck am I gonna eat at this point man this is why you don't see me making art or games or even work on things as much as I used to because I barely have enough energy get through the day even when I'm at zero level depression. At the moment my sole working strat is to extend my time of not being awake, because not only I like to emulate being dead, if I have less uptime then I'd have to eat less and use less energy as well because this place is an interior of physical air fryer.
Really was going to crash out making chain posts but between embarrassingly crashing out on a place where people can see and where there are less people will see/likely to read and how things still turn the same way either way I'd probably just post here. I fail to see how things will change for better and I'm already exhausted trying. Whatever whatever whatever whatever I DON'T WANT to apologize being negative anymore, it's not entirely my fault for being negative when there's only negativity left for me in life, or maybe it is my fault I don't care if you want to blame me for never holding hope, I'm so SICK of everything